he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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