Your mouth is God's brothel.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
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Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
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Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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