so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
