i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize