i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
And then the night went full on bisexual.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
