I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
