Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize