i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
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Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
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In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just forgot I was standing up.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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