So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You can't special order awesome
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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