just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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