dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
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