now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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