There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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