Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Even my vagina gasped.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
