You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
