i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
