so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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