i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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