i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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