and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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