the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
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If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
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I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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