I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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