wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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