How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize