Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
