you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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