I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
