Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
