Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
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I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
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There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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