we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
