If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
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She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
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Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize