Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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