he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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