Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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