I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
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You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
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I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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