Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
