Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
