I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
