My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
