Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
All I want is dick and wine.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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