My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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