that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
