I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
