I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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