but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
