And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Do you still have your period?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
