worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
