Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
