remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
