She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
