There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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