someone get that fucking seahorse.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
