How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
