apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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