I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
