her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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