Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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