Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
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He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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