Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize